dynamic dynamite duo

In an unexplainably Looney Tunes-esque manner, you suddenly find yourself holding a lit stick of dynamite. You don't know how or why it is there, but it is, and from the looks of it you have about 50 seconds before you are blown to smithereens. You are currently feeling far from suicidal; you have a great life... your mom mailed you some of her splendid cabbage lasagna for lunch today, your significant other no longer clips his/her toenails onto your pillow, and you won 2 free tickets to see a DEVO cover band (SKEEVO, as they are known) this weekend. Yes, in fact, life is very good.

Of course, your initial reaction is to toss the dynamite far, far away. Unfortunately, your surroundings are not very conducive to dynamite-throwing. To your north, there is a playground full of bright and boisterous youngins' [ages 3-7] all of the very-very-adorable-and-worthwhile persuasion. To your south, there is a Cancer Survivors Convention for Teens. To your east is a dynamite factory and to your west is an apartment complex specifically targeted at cute old ladies, puppies, kittens, and rock stars. You would feel terrible tossing the dynamite in any of these directions, knowing good and well that it would destroy and kill 92.6% of everything in a 20 foot radius.

As the dynamite is burning down in your hands, you notice on the very far far edge of the playground is the house of Adolf Hitler who has been kept alive secretly for all of these years. You don't think that you can throw the dynamite that far, but you were on the javelin toss of your high school track and field team, so just mayyyybeeee.....

You considering leaving the stick of dynamite where it is and running, but rather unfortunately you are surrounded by a 30-foot-high fence made entirely of electric eels and you cannot climb it, not only for fear of electrocution but also because they are all very slippery.

WHAT DO YOU DO?

Keep in mind: if you throw towards Hitler's house, you will probably kill many'a'children and be considered the most evil human being on the planet. However, if you hit the house, you will be dubbed a hero and March 10th will officially be named in your honor.